Rhenz, As A Challenger

"Personality is my original personal property." -Norman Brown

They say I’m self-confident, strong, and assertive. Protective, resourceful, straight-talking, and decisive, but can also be ego-centric and domineering. I feel I must control my environment, especially people, sometimes becoming confrontational and intimidating. I typically have problems with my tempers and with allowing myself to be vulnerable. At my Best: self- mastering, I use my strength to improve others' lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring.

Basic Fear: Of being harmed or controlled by others.

Basic Desire: To protect myself (to be in control of my own life and destiny)

Key Motivations: Want to be self-reliant, to prove my strength and resist weakness, to be important in my friends’ world, to dominate the environment, and to stay in control of my situation.

When moving in my Direction of Disintegration (stress), self-confident Rhenz suddenly become secretive and fearful. However, when moving in my Direction of Integration (growth), lustful, controlling Rhenz become more open-hearted and caring.

They have named my personality type The Challenger because, of all the types, I enjoy taking on challenges myself as well as giving others opportunities that challenge me to exceed myself in some way. I am charismatic and have the physical and psychological capacities to persuade others to follow me into all kinds of endeavors—from starting a company, to rebuilding a city, to running a household, to waging war, to making peace. I learned that 1 out of 100 people have the type that same as mine.

I have enormous willpower and vitality, and I feel most alive when I am exercising these capacities in the world. I use my abundant energy to effect changes in my environment—to “leave my mark" on it—but also to keep the environment, and especially other people, from hurting me and those I care about. At an early age, I understand that this requires strength, will, persistence, and endurance—qualities that I develop in myself and which I look for in others.

“Much of my tenacity and toughness comes from my Dad. He always told me not to ‘let anybody push you around.’ It was not okay to cry. I learned to master my weaker side early on.”

I do not want to be controlled or to allow others to have power over me (my Basic Fear), whether the power is psychological, sexual, social, or financial. Much of my behavior is involved with making sure that I retain and increase whatever power I have for as long as possible.

I am the true “rugged individualist”. More than any other type, I stand alone. I want to be independent, and resist being indebted to anyone. I often refuse to “give in” to social convention, and I can defy fear, shame, and concern about the consequences of my actions. Although I am usually aware of what people think of me, I do not let the opinions of others sway me. I go about their business with a steely determination that can be awe inspiring, even intimidating to others.

Although, to some extent, I fear physical harm, far more important is my fear of being disempowered or controlled in some way. I am extraordinarily tough and can absorb a great deal of physical punishment without complaint—a double-edged blessing since I often take my health and stamina for granted and overlook the health and well-being of others as well. Yet I am desperately afraid of being hurt emotionally and will use my physical strength to protect my feelings and keep others at a safe emotional distance. Beneath the tough façade is vulnerability, although it has been covered over by layer of emotional armor. Most especially, I don’t want to be underestimated.

Thus, I am often extremely industrious, but at the price of losing emotional contact with many of the people in my life. Those close to me may become increasingly dissatisfied with this state of affairs, which confounds me. (“I don't understand what my family is complaining about. I bust my hump to provide for them. Why are they disappointed with me?”)

When this happens, I feel misunderstood and may distance myself further. In fact, beneath my imposing exterior, I often feel hurt and rejected, although this is something I seldom talk about because I have trouble admitting my vulnerability to myself, let alone to anyone else. Because I fear that I will be rejected (humiliated, criticized or harmed in some way), I attempt to defend myself by rejecting others first. The result is that my average self become blocked in my ability to connect with people or to love since love gives the other power over me, reawakening my Basic Fear.

The more I build up my egos in order to protect myself, the more sensitive I become to any real or imaginary slight to my self-respect, authority, or preeminence. The more I attempt to make myself impervious to hurt or pain (whether physical or emotional), the more I “shut down” emotionally to become hardened and rock-like.

When I am emotionally healthy, however, I have a resourceful, “can-do” attitude as well as a steady inner drive. I take the initiative and make things happen with a great passion for life. I am honorable and authoritative—natural leader who have a solid, commanding presence. My groundedness gives me abundant “common sense” as well as the ability to be decisive. I am willing to “take the heat,” knowing that any decision cannot please everyone. But as much as possible, I want to look after the interests of the people in my charge without playing favorites. I use my talents and fortitude to construct a better world for everyone in my life.

*(At My Worst): If I get in danger, I may brutally destroy everything that has not conformed to my will rather than surrender to anyone else. Vengeful, barbaric, murderous. Sociopathic tendencies. Generally corresponds to the Antisocial Personality Disorder.

**: Develop delusional ideas about my power, invincibility, and ability to prevail: megalomania, feeling omnipotent, invulnerable. Recklessly over-extending self.

***: Defying any attempt to control me, become completely ruthless, dictatorial, "might makes right." The criminal and outlaw, renegade, and con-artist. Hard-hearted, immoral and potentially violent.

****: Become highly combative and intimidating to get my way: confrontational, belligerent, creating adversarial relationships. Everything a test of wills, and I will not back down. Uses threats and reprisals to get obedience from others, to keep others off balance and insecure. However, unjust treatment makes others fear and resent me, possibly also band together against me.

*****: Begin to dominate my environment, including others: want to feel that others are behind me, supporting my efforts. Swaggering, boastful, forceful, and expansive: the "boss" whose word is law. Proud, egocentric, want to impose my will and vision on everything, not seeing others as equals or treating them with respect.

******: Self-sufficiency, financial independence, and having enough resources are important concerns: become enterprising, pragmatic, "rugged individualist," wheeler-dealer. Risk-taking, hardworking, denying own emotional needs.

*******: Decisive, authoritative, and commanding: the natural leader others look up to. Take initiative, make things happen: champion people, provider, protective, and honorable, carrying others with my strength.

********: Self-assertive, self-confident, and strong: have learned to stand up for what I need and want. A resourceful, "can do" attitude and passionate inner drive.

********* (At My Best): Become self-restrained and magnanimous, merciful and forbearing, mastering myself through my self-surrender to a higher authority. Courageous, willing to put myself in serious jeopardy to achieve my vision and have a lasting influence. May achieve true heroism and historical greatness from my guts never to give-up.

Last Notes:

I really don't know if my main persona is negative or positive, but what I know is, it is superb. Maybe this is the reason why many people hate me, but I know that this is also the reason why many love me as well. What do you think? Is it negative? Or positive? I need your opinion.

"I know no other person who has as great a capacity for exerting a constructive influence in the lives of so many people. But the reverse is that, I also know no other person who can so completely misuse power or become so totally destructive as Rhenz." -Gwen Loyola